Quickies

Quick "Facts" and Quirky Comedy


Kougar Kardashian...

This week, George Lopez introduced us to the fourth and "least-known Kardashian sister" Kougar (played by Lopez).  He joked about her array of Hollywood hunks: Mario Lopez, Bill Bellamy, and Taylor Lautner.


Up next:  Khloe may bring truth to long standing speculation that Kim and Kourtney actually have a second brother.




















David Gets "Hoffered" a Spot on Dancing with the Stars...

David Hasselhoff will compete on the 11th season of ABC's Dancing with the Stars.


What he needs is Celebrity Rehab, because this man does not know when to quit.  Hey David, your career is "hoffviously hoffver."


Also making his way to the dance floor: Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino.


GR8!  The CEO of the MIA may be taking a break from GTL days and MVP nights, but he will be entering a GFZ on DWTS.










Brit Brit Slips Back Into a Bikini...

She needs to start slipping into a shower before leaving the house.  Nevertheless...


Spears showed off a toned body while vacationing with beau Jason Trawick in Hawaii.


See more of Britney in next month's issue of Pop magazine, where she talks about her hopes to work with Lady Gaga.  "I'm a big fan of hers," she said.  "Anything's possible!"


Careful!  With that "anything's possible" attitude she wound up barefoot and pregnant by some dude from Fresno. 










Not a Cougar, but She is on the Prowl...

Kate Gosselin is looking for a partner who is "older, wiser, patient, kind," which sounds exactly like her bodyguard, Steve Neild.


Good luck Kate!  After seeing her body language on the dance floor, I'm sure she's great fun in bed.  Can someone say "lay like broccilli?"




















Nothing Says Gay Like Blue Spandex...

Actor David Yost, best known as the Blue Power Ranger has come out of the closet.  Now 41, he claims he was discriminated against and harassed on the set of this hit kids' show.


Creators of the show first learned of the Blue Ranger's sexuality when he requested to forego the extra shielding on his suit.  He admitted to them that he actually enjoyed a strong blow every once in a while.








From Paris, With Love...

Paris Hilton pays thanks to her fans for standing by her during her recent "bust."
She tweeted: "I'm so thankful to all my fans for all the love and support you are giving me.  Thank you all.  Love you so much.  Love Paris xoxo."


A more fitting and believable tweet would have been: "I'm so thankful to Lil' Kiki from the south side for the gooood sh*t.  Vegas was a blast!  That's hot.  Love Paris sniff sniff."
















Samantha Ronson's Cadillac Has Issues...

Samantha Ronson will be the subject of a criminal investigation after her bulldog, Cadillac, allegedly attacked and killed a two-year old Maltese, named Tiger.  It is reported that Tiger was not Cadillac's first victim.


It has also been reported that Ronson has a scary pussy as well.
























Bad Situation...

Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino recently had a run-in with the law that landed him in jail on charges of marijuana possession.


The Situation claims those drugs were not his and he knew nothing about them...he was simply carrying a fellow guido's murse.


















Buuurrrrr...

Julia Roberts defends why she will not try Botox, by stating, "I want my kids to know when I'm pissed, when I'm happy, and when I'm confounded."


And with those new boobs, they'll also be able to tell when you're cold.


















The Real View...

Fans of ABC's The View were upset with yesterday's appearance of Dr. Oz, claiming that he is not even a real doctor.


Funny how fans don't comment that Whoopi Goldberg can not possibly be a real Jew or a real woman for that matter.